Lately, I’ve found myself wondering if it’s the change in season, a change in routine, or just the heaviness of the news these days—but I’ve noticed that I can sometimes slip into feeling down, overwhelmed, or even a little negative.
And once I get into that mode, it can be hard to know where to start to break the cycle.
I was doing some reading recently about cognitive restructuring, which is essentially the process of noticing the thoughts and beliefs that shape how we experience a situation and learning to look at them through a different, more balanced lens.
So I thought I’d share an exercise that’s actually kind of fun—and might be helpful when you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern.
1. Dump it out
Write—or use talk-to-text to —a completely honest narrative about whatever is weighing on you.
This is your permission slip to have the pity party.
Use the negative language. Complain. Vent. Say the things you might not want anyone else to hear.
Get it out of your head and onto the screen or onto paper.
Then take a breath. Walk away for a few minutes if you need to.
2. Look for a pattern or themes
Come back and reread what you wrote.
What themes do you notice?
Are there words or ideas that keep showing up?
Maybe it’s:
• “I always mess things up.”
• “Nothing ever works out for me.”
• “I have no control.”
• “I’m failing.”
• “This is never going to get better.”
Don’t judge yourself for these thoughts. Just notice them.
Give the pattern a name if you can.
Maybe it’s failure, helplessness, hopelessness, rejection, perfectionism, or lack of control.
Sometimes these themes become the lens through which we see everything else.
3. Now Pivot
Rewrite your narrative.
Not with fake positivity.
Not by pretending everything is fine.
Instead, tell the same story from a place of kindness, compassion, acceptance, and perspective.
The facts don’t have to change.
The lens can.
Instead of:
“I can’t believe I screwed this up. I always do this.”
Try:
“This didn’t go the way I hoped. I’m disappointed, but one difficult experience doesn’t define me. I can figure out what I want to do differently next time.”
Then ask yourself:
Does this new narrative change how I feel?
Does it change what I want to do next?
Does it make taking the next step feel a little more possible?
That’s the power of cognitive restructuring.
Our thoughts don’t control everything we experience, and we can’t simply “think” ourselves out of difficult emotions.
But learning to recognize our thought patterns and intentionally create a more balanced, compassionate perspective can influence how we feel, behave, and respond.
And sometimes, that little shift in perspective is exactly where we need to start.
