As a mother, losing a child seems to be the worst loss I can imagine. In fact, I don’t even really want to imagine it for very long. Losing a child to suicide compounds that loss in ways that are truly unimaginable. My son’s school district lost a child to suicide last week, leaving a family without their son and a community asking questions, looking inward, and holding their own children a little tighter, grateful that they are still here to hug.
In times when I feel helpless, I always find that education and facts help. There is a misconception that talking about suicide with your teenager may implant the idea in their head and that you could be causing more harm than good. This is not true.
Speaking to your teenagers about suicide and mental health in a way that normalizes these discussions is extremely important. When you create space for teenagers to talk about their emotions and feelings, you give them permission to say out loud the dark thoughts they may be carrying. You are also showing them that you have the strength to handle those difficult conversations.
However, if you don’t feel comfortable or confident having these conversations, that is perfectly okay, too. Mental health professionals are there to help support you through these difficult conversations with your teenagers.
There are different frameworks that professionals use when assessing for suicide risk. These can be helpful for parents to understand and can also be something you teach your own children to use if they have a friend who may be struggling.
I tend to like the framework of the Three R’s: Recognize, Respond, and Refer.
Recognize: Learn to recognize the warning signs of depression and suicide.
Respond: Talk to the person and respond without judgment. Show them that you are there to listen. Sometimes, simply knowing that someone is willing to listen can make an enormous difference.
Refer: This is perhaps the most important step. There are resources available to help, including the national 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, school support people such as guidance counselors, and local mental health professionals. You do not have to navigate this alone.
This is a great website to learn more about suicide risk factors, protective factors, and warning signs:
https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs/
Additional resources:
https://qprinstitute.com/
A single thread of hope is a very powerful thing. Connection, conversation, support, and love can make a profound difference in a teen’s life and may give them the hope they need to keep going.
