As therapists, we hear from many people who feel stuck between wanting to stay connected to loved ones and feeling upset—sometimes even angry—when those loved ones express political views that feel deeply hurtful or contrary to their own. It’s a tricky space to be in, especially when emotions run high and it feels like the very fabric of your relationships is being tested.
When these conversations come up, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. You might feel defensive or frustrated, or maybe you just want to shut the conversation down altogether. And that’s okay. It’s important to recognize and honor those feelings rather than trying to push them away. Take a breath, give yourself permission to step back, and remind yourself that you don’t have to resolve every disagreement in one conversation—or even at all.
Sometimes, setting boundaries is the healthiest thing you can do. You might say, “I love and care about you, and I think it’s best for us not to talk about politics right now.” That’s not shutting someone out; it’s creating space to preserve the relationship. Boundaries aren’t about cutting people off; they’re about protecting your own emotional well-being.
When you do decide to engage, try shifting from “How can I change their mind?” to “What can I learn about where they’re coming from?” This doesn’t mean you’re giving in or agreeing—it just means you’re choosing to listen with curiosity instead of going to battle. You can listen and still hold your own values and beliefs. You might even find small points of connection in the process, which can make the conversation feel a little less tense.
And of course, there are times when a relationship becomes too toxic or hurtful to maintain—when it crosses a line into demeaning or aggressive behavior. In those moments, stepping away might be the best choice for your mental and emotional health. Remember: It’s not your job to fix or change anyone else.
At the end of the day, it’s about finding a balance between honoring your own values and keeping space for the relationships that matter to you. Sometimes that means taking a step back, other times it means leaning in with curiosity. Either way, be gentle with yourself as you navigate this tension. You’re not alone.
