When You Find Yourself Saying, “I Don’t Even Know Who I Am Anymore”

As a therapist, I’m often struck by the themes that quietly echo across sessions in a given week. Lately, the idea of “sense of self” has been showing up again and again.

A new mom who feels she’s lost herself in the demands of parenthood.
An older man uncovering parts of himself he never knew existed.
A father wondering who he is now that his roles as husband and dad have taken over.
A queer college student returning to a hometown that may no longer feel like home.

All are asking, in different ways: Who am I now?
They may feel like they’ve lost themselves.
Or they’re afraid they might.
Or maybe… they never really knew who they were to begin with.

It’s a deeply human experience. And one I feel honored to witness and walk through with people in therapy.

George Bernard Shaw once said:
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

And that’s the good news: You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re not stuck. You can pivot. You can reimagine. You can grieve who you thought you were — and still make space for someone new.

In therapy, we explore who you were, who you are, and who you want to become. It’s one of my favorite parts of the work.

But what if you do know who you are — and you’re afraid to show the world?

Let me remind you:
You are unique. Your voice matters. Your presence matters.
Hiding serves no one. Shrinking serves no one.

When you live your truth — fully, authentically — you give others permission to do the same.