As a therapist and a parent, I’ve witnessed—and personally felt—the swirl of emotions that comes with welcoming your college-aged child home for the summer. I couldn’t wait to see her shoes in the mudroom, peek into her room in the morning and find her sleeping in her bed, or hear the late-night gossip about friends and relationships. There’s joy, of course.

But beneath that joy, there can also be a quiet undercurrent of anxiety—one that many parents aren’t quite sure how to name. Your child has been living independently, making decisions, and managing their own schedule. Now they’re returning to a home with structure, expectations, and other family members who have their own routines.

You might find yourself worrying about the late-night garage door waking up the dog (and then the whole house), wondering whether they’re coming home that night, smelling food being cooked at 1 a.m. that wafts into your bedroom and keeps you up, or feeling the constant, in-your-face awareness of their choices—especially when they make a few “questionable” ones.

The key here is flexibility and communication. Your home has changed in their absence, and so have they. Try to approach this summer not as a return to the past, but as a new chapter in your evolving relationship. Set clear, respectful boundaries, and invite their input. Share how you’re feeling, and make space for them to do the same. You’re navigating a new kind of family system—one that includes an “independent” young adult—and that may mean revisiting and rewriting the rules together.

It’s okay to feel both excited and unsettled. That’s the nature of transitions—they’re layered, emotional, and full of growth for everyone involved. I encourage you to embrace the chaos, and when you can stay awake, enjoy those late-night talks. In five to seven years, they’ll likely have a home of their own, and “coming home” will be just a short visit on a holiday weekend.

So buckle up for this summer roller coaster. Enjoy the ride—it’s temporary, and it’s worth it.